Busayo and Niyi met at a friend’s birthday bash and they hit it off instantly. Niyi was already established, had a good job, was already settled (the whole nine yards). Unlike Busayo who was just finishing her NYSC. Due to their chemistry and serious pressures from home for Niyi to marry, after 6 months he proposed to Busayo in grand style.
2 years on, Busayo is still engaged to Niyi with little or no hope of knowing the wedding date or starting the planning phrase of the wedding. Due to the ring on her finger, guys/toasters automatically move aside.
Should Busayo still wait for Niyi hoping he finally decides on a date or should she move on?
Recently, I got some messages on blackberry about how unwise it is to stay in a long engagement. It was kind of funny because these messages referred to these ladies that accept such situations as key holders, ring holders or lord of the rings.
It seems more like once they wear the engagement rings or when they wear it for too long they end up looking like gollum in real Lord of the Rings. Heck maybe someone proposed to gollum and just didn’t marry him that’s why he ended up looking the way he did (okay pardon me as I am not about to change a story that was written hundred years ago lol ). But in all honesty, same things happen to ladies when they wear engagement rings for too long, they become invisible to other men/potential toasters and it then gets difficult to take off making it become their precious.
It is funny because in this part of real life, fairy tales don’t happen overnight. I keep telling people not to base their lives on movies. Take for example the 5 year engagement story, although, the couple got back together and later got married, the same thing might not be possible in these zones. So best believe its not another 5 year engagement story. One isn’t on a quest trying to destroy a ring(LOL!). To be honest, one doesn’t really need a whole year to plan a wedding (however, you can be pardoned if you are related to Dangote:)).
I found it kind of sad that the jokes didn’t give the guys that propose any silly names or the guys in the long engagements because they are also trapped in the whole engagement. Maybe its not so bad for them because they are the ones calling the shots seeing as they are the ones who proposed. However, there are no engagement rings that differentiates them from an ordinary man.
I always believe that a little while after the guy pops the question or proposes as the case may be, then the wedding date should be fixed or should be known by both parties involved. It is only fair to state that once the engagement is over a year and there isn’t any clear date for a wedding then the ring isn’t an engagement ring but a fashion ring and the lady is more like the female version of Frodo Baggins in Lord of the rings (let’s call her Faridah Baggins LOL) holding on to a ring that makes her invisible to other men and on a quest to the city of Mordor (to take her place amongst the Lord of the Rings) where she is trapped in another long engagement till eternity. Okay maybe its a little too harsh but you get my point..
So now my questions are these:
- How long is long enough for one to know the guy isn’t interested any longer? 1-2years, 3-4 years? etc.
- Do guys propose mainly to shut the ladies up so she wouldn’t be able to socialise with other toasters? Or do they propose just because they are required by society to do so at a particular age?
- Or worse they know they can still misbehave knowing fully well that they have a lady intact?
Guys, kindly leave your answers/opinions in the comment box below. Thanks